Latchkey Entry #2

I didn't do too well with Jeffrey today.

He did have a good lunch (noodles and curried chicken), however it was downhill from there. I left him in front of the T.V. watching Little Einsteins when I went to disciple Carlos at 2 p.m. I returned at 4 to find him still planted on the sofa (for those reading: Don't worry we have somebody staying with Jeffrey during the afternoons). We were at the church from 5 to until 9 p.m. working on PowerPoint for Sunday worship and afterwards attending Wednesday night prayer. We had to swing by the Bostons to pick up a fishing rod so that Pastor Daniel could use it tomorrow if we go fishing. I wanted to stop off and pick up some dinner for Jeffrey before arriving at the Bostons however the traffic was so thick that I had to go straight to their house (there was a concert in Olympia Stadium and it would appear that people are beginning the festivities (partying) for labor day. We did pick up a Cajita Feliz from McDonald's on the way back from the Bostons. Jeffrey ate at 10 p.m. (I am so sorry). We then brushed his teeth (I've done that 3 times since you left... that's pretty good). Jeffrey was ready for bed this evening... he put up no fuss.

I will say this much for our day... Jeffrey and I got along famously. He behaved really well today.

BTW: Today did not climb out of the upper 60s and right now it is 58 degrees.

For those reading the blog: Sorry for the daily overviews, but I'm doing this for Karen.

Thanks for your support. We are TEAM!

Latchkey Entry #1

Karen and Jasmine left for the States today. Karen needs to put down in the U.S. in order to keep her permanent residence status valid. While there she will attend the Southeastern district conference of the Christian and Missionary Alliance, speak at a couple of womens' teas, speak at one church that I know of and have one-on-one time with several of our supporters.

It will be difficult to be apart for two weeks. Jeffrey "understands" that mommy is flying in the airplane, but I'm not certain he appreciates just who long she will be up there.

Jeffrey and I are Karen's latchkey boys. She is concerned that we won't take care of ourselves as she is away (I think her concern lies more in the care of Jeffrey... and it is a valid concern as being Mr. Mom is not my forte). I've decided to record our progress on the blog each day. Giving Karen the ability to check up on us, allowing her to make any comments if it appears that I'm going awry.

Let's get started:

Today, for dinner Jeffrey and I enjoyed toasted cheese sandwiches.

Cultural note: the main meal is served at lunch. Thankfully we have someone helping us out with the lunches. There is no fear of us not having at least one decent meal a day.

Jeffrey ate 7/8 of his sandwich but stopped short of completing it saying that it was giving him an ouchie. I tried to understand exactly what about the sandwich was giving him and "ouchie," but he would just point at one of his fingers and say "right there."

Karen has been wanting Jeffrey to have a haircut, so I did that tonight as well. I wish I had filmed it. He does not like getting his hair cut. He was screaming bloody murder the whole time (all I could do was laugh, which made him scream all the more). I said, "Jeffrey you are being crazy." He said, "I'm not being crazy, I'm being sad!" Throughout he was screaming "Help me! Help me! Where is my mommy!" In the end, he only had one little gouge in his hair. Other than that I think it was a success.

Be sure to check back every day as the Latchkey Chronicles continue.

Thank you for your support. We are TEAM!

The Falling Dollar: Ignorance Was Bliss

I've experienced something overseas I was not aware of while living in the States: the fluctuating value of the dollar. Good grief! The value of our dollar has dropped 27% since arriving in Paraguay (currency converter). As well, food prices have risen substantially.

"Most of the staples of people's diet - wheat and rice - have risen more than 50 per cent in the last 12 months and they've risen even more steeply than that very recently," said the UN under-secretary general for Humanitarian Affairs John Holmes.

The $100 that we converted to 560 thousand guaranies (Paraguayan dollar) when we arrived now yields us 400 thousand guaranies.

Growing up in the States I don't think I was ever aware of the dollar's value nor the increased prices of milk and eggs. My main economic indicators, when I came of age, were gas prices, the talk of inflation and/or recession, and job availability. However, now I'm reminded every day of our economic difficulties as I pass by the bank and see the falling dollar illuminated in bright red lights. Every time I see the dollar drop (it seems to be a daily occurrence now-a-days) I cringe and inwardly cry, "Ouch!" I'm not sure I'm experiencing the pinch more or less than anyone else living in the United States. It's possible (probable) that you all are losing 25-40% of your disposable income as well. I understand that a gallon of gas is now up to almost $4 a gallon. My sister told me that milk and egg prices have increased over the past several months.

I'd be interested to hear how the changing economy is made apparent to you and how it is changing your way of life. One thing that is certain, unless the economy makes a turn-around we will all live differently.

Thanks for your support. We are TEAM.

Jeffrey's 4th Birthday

When Jeffrey and I arrived at his class we were surprised by his classmates as they sang Happy Birthday (in English!) to him. They then crowded around him with their gifts and he proceeded to open them. As he opened each gift (which were all cars... 10 of them) he would lift them over his head and say "Mira! Mira!" (Look! Look!). The whole class would then cheer and give him hugs. I was so proud of my son at that point because I realized he has been learning how to interact with his friends with kindness. And I was touched by the generosity that was shown to Jeffrey from all the parents and children of his class.

Karen, Lily (our helper), Joanna (Jeffrey's Sunday school teacher), Jasmine and myself went to the school at 9 am and prepared a party for Jeffrey and his class. During the party the kids watched a video, sang, played games, ate food from Burger King, busted open a pinata, and played in the playground. Jeffrey was so excited because finally it was his turn to blow out the candle of the birthday cake.

We came home and Jeffrey opened up his present from mom and dad (12 metal fighter jets). We must have chosen correctly because he has not let them out of his site since he received them. I found him on the floor in his room at 12 midnight playing with all of his planes. This morning Karen gave him 10 of the planes and Jeffrey immediately asked where the blue and the red ones were... apparently, the night before, he had memorized each plane.

In the afternoon we went to a park so that Jeffrey could ride his bike. Halfway through we stopped at a "fire" tower and Jeffrey and I climbed to the top. He referred to the tower as the "tower of power," which I came to learn is a reference from "Backyardigans."

We then went to McDonalds and met up with his friend Caleb Schell, Uncle Forest and Aunt Sara, Josiah, and Uncle Bob and Aunt Brenda.

We topped off our night with a video chat with Grandma and Grandpa Spurling. Jeffrey was able to show them all the neat toys he received for his birthday.

I was really glad that we dedicated yesterday to Jeffrey. We all had a great time as a family.

Thank you for your support. We are TEAM!

Carlos' Hope

"Pastor, do you think God can change the decision of the judge? Do think that it is OK to pray for that?" Carlos asked. I replied, "All things are possible with God. But many times He allows us to experience the consequences of our actions. We will pray that God can work out your circumstances for the good of His children."

Some of my blog friends have asked about Carlos, the husband of Rosanna, who I've mentioned at times in my blogging. Carlos and Rosanna have 4 daughters and Carlos has struggled with an addiction to drugs. Rosanna and her parents have come to me for advice on how to handle this situation, which is understandable as I've had experience with drugs.

This has been a stressful situation for me, because it is serious and the advice that I give has the potential of greatly impacting many lives. This situation has left me somewhat insecure as I'm trying not to make a major cultural mistake.

It was difficult in the beginning to be the one to tell the family that Carlos was on drugs and appeared to be an addict. And it was even more difficult to tell them that the only way that Carlos was going to make the turn-around would be with Christ, when Carlos hit his "bottom." That is to say when Carlos came to a point that he thought he would never experience and would have never allowed if he truly had control of his own life.

My advice was to show Carlos some "tough" love. This would mean removing him from the house until he sought help. This was probably the hardest thing I could have asked in Paraguayan culture. This type of discipline is viewed as lacking love, mercy and grace, which are major values in the culture. When in reality God many times demonstrates His perfect love, mercy and grace through discipline. The advice was followed for a time, but after a few months Carlos was back in the house. When I was asked what I thought about the decision to accept him back I could only reply, "I'm waiting to see what Carlos' "bottom" is."

Over three weeks ago I received a phone call from Carlos' wife at 12:30 a.m. Carlos was being held at the local police station. He was being held on charges of possession with the intent to distribute. At 12:30 in the morning my sin nature wanted to say, "I TOLD YOU SO!" However, even in the wee hours of the morning the Holy Spirit can take over and I said to Rosanna, "Right now let's pray for peace for all those involved. Tomorrow I will help out in any way that I can."

The next day I was able to help out in some practical ways. Serving mostly as a chauffeur for Carlos, his wife, and the police (that's a whole other cultural story in and of itself). My last words to Carlos that day were: "I've always been here for you, always praying. When you are ready for some help, you let me know."

The following day, Tuesday, Rosanna told me that Carlos wanted to talk with me. It seemed he would be held at the police station for 10 days and after that the judge would make a decision to let him go free or send him to the national prison. I arrived on Wednesday to speak with Carlos. I've never experienced an easier conversion than I did that morning with Carlos. As Carlos entered the visitors area where I was waiting he walked towards me saying, "Pastor, I'm ready to be clean. I'm ready to accept Christ as my Savior. Can I pray with you for this?" After briefly explaining true faith to Carlos from Romans 10:9-11, I prayed with him to receive Christ.

His mother-in-law came up to me the following Sunday at church and told me that Carlos had finally reached his lowest point. I agreed. He had reached the place where he could no longer depend on himself but rather understood his need for God. That morning we both praised God for His work in Carlos' life.

I continued to go back every couple of days to encourage him and drop off a new book to read (he was reading like there was no tomorrow). We talked about how he was doing, I answered questions that he had from his reading, we prayed, he always thanked me, and I would leave.

A week ago Monday marked the 22nd day of his incarceration. Carlos was waiting to find out if he would be allowed to go free, or if he was going to spend the next 5-15 years in prison. Things did not appear hopeful, Carlos was guilty of the crime. Many family and friends, here and in the States, joined us in prayer during this time.

All of us are guilty and none of us deserve mercy. And yet through Christ God demonstrates His mercy to us every day. I am so thankful that we serve a God of hope.

Monday I received a phone call from an excited Carlos, "Pastor, I'm in my home. Thank you so much for praying for me. I've been praying for you every day. When you can, please stop by as I have many questions about the Bible that I want to ask you."

Carlos is now serving a five month sentence in his home. Typically a person is not held in the local jail for more than 10 days. If the judge does not make a positive verdict in favor of the accused within that time, they are handed over to the prison system. Carlos was caught red-handed possessing an amount of an illegal substance that normally sends the person directly to prison. God definitely worked on Carlos' behalf. Today we have another FREE brother in Christ in Paraguay.

Carlos' process is not over. He still has many obstacles to get around. But today he is going forward with Christ. Please pray with me that Carlos will be another victorious story that will bring Glory to God and more believers to this part of the kingdom in Asunción, Paraguay.

Tuesday Carlos and I begin our weekly discipleship studies at his house.

This testimony was made possible by your prayer and financial support.

Thank you for that support. We are TEAM!

Paraguayan Elections

Today the Paraguayans are going to the polls to vote for a new President. Did you know that Paraguay's Colorado Party is the longest ruling political party in the world today? They have been in power for 61-years. With today's elections that strong hold is in jeopardy.

There has been a different feeling in the air around Asunción for the past several months. Elections are quite different from what we experience in the States. From my perspective I would say it is more of a grass-roots campaign feel then the electronic buffet we are served in the States. What makes me say that:

1. Cars with bullhorns publicizing their favorite candidates seem to be an hourly event in our neighborhood.
2. Political bumper stickers are everywhere (I was stopped at a light the other day and I saw several campaign workers adhering stickers to the cars of unsuspecting motorists waiting at the light).
3. Many of my friends have been unable to make plans at certain times because of prior commitments to political events.
4. Polladas (Chicken dinners sold to raise money for political campaigning). I've tried to eat one from every Party so as not to show preference.
5. Political hats promoting your favorite candidate.
6. Candidate's posters plastered everywhere.

While riding in taxis and buses this past week I talked to as many people as possible about the election. There seemed to be a reoccurring sentiment that change is needed. However, one taxi driver told me that no matter what, Paraguay will have another president from the Colorado Party. His reasoning being that the main candidates are, or recently were, registered with the Colorado Party. There are three main candidates that are vying to succeed current-President Nicanor Duarte, they are: Blanca Ovelar (the Colorado Candidate), Fernando Lugo (soon-to-be former bishop of the Catholic church), and Lino Oviedo (ex-general).

"Change is healthy for a country that has been under the same party for so long, a new face will be good for the country'' said former treasury minister Dionisio Borda.

The main reason for change according to what the people told me is so that they can experience a stronger economy (the economic growth rate last year was 6.4%). There is a 13% unemployment rate in Paraguay and 42% of the population falls below the poverty line. The 13% figure is misleading as many people are working long hours for wages much lower than the minimum wage.

I tend to be a little nervous with change when I don't know the agents of change as well as I should. For example, Hilary Clinton I "know," and she down-right scares me. Whereas Barack Obama I do not know that well and would be nervous if he made it into the White House. With John McCain I feel I know him just enough to wish I didn't know him. Elections can be a stressful time.

This morning in my personal study I was reminded that:

"Our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ; who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject all things to Himself" (Philippians 3:20-21).

And then Pastor Danny mentioned his emotional experience while at the Alliance World Fellowship in Chile this past week. He told us that every morning he had the privilege of previewing a little side of heaven when the leaders from all of the world got together and worshiped the Lord. He said one of his favorite Scriptures came to life:

"I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could count, from every nation and all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, and palm branches were in their hands… saying, 'Salvation to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb'" (Revelation 7:9-10).

So whether it is Lugo, Clinton, Olevar, Obama, Ovieda or McCain, it won't change my reality. I am a child of God and He is my King.

Thanks for your support. We are TEAM!

A Buttered Roll, a Bagel, My Kingdom for a New York Pastry

This past week we had a few of my fellow New Yorkers pass through Paraguay. Ever since, I've been going around thinking in New Yorkian. I want to greet people like, "Waz up." I want to respond to my perception of an incredulous comment or action with "Wazamadder wid you?". I have a need to know how "da bums" played last night. As well, their visit brought back the craving for certain New York food that I've been unable to find outside of the metro area.In '96 I moved away from metro NY to Columbia, SC (talk about culture shock). I would do my food shopping at mid-night because at that hour I didn't have to wait in a line of customers who felt the need to go into detail with the cashier about the events of the past day. I had to educate the Dunkin' Donuts workers as to what a regular coffee was. I had to fed-ex overnight a pizza so that my then fiancee could know what I was talkin' about.

At least in SC and later in Florida they had "bagels." Don' ge'me started! Twelve stinkin' bagels in a small plastic bag... How is that even possible? If you are ever in New City, NY and they are still there, you gotta try David's Bagels.

Where are the Cannolis, the Napoleans, and the Biscotti? I have yet to find anything that resembles these outside of NY. I'm dying!

King Richard III had his Catesby to help him to a horse. Where is my Catesby? Who is going to help me to a bagel?

The thing that I missed most was something that was probably the simplest. In New York, every construction worker who takes a mid-morning 15 minute coffee break has one of these. Where are the buttered hard roles with the cup o' Joe? Seriously, I was shocked when the folks in South Carolina couldn't help me out. Neither could they give it to me in Gainesville... nor in Costa Rica. I've made it my mission to find the buttered roll outside of the metro area. I've searched in every major city that I've visited only to be bitterly disappointed.

That is, until Paraguay...

In Paraguay the most common type of bread is called Pan Felipe. Usually the Paraguayans spread dulce de leche (caramel) in the center and eat it. However, I've found that if you slice it down the middle, put butter in it, make yourself a good cup o' Joe (which is not an easy feat in Paraguay if you are a coffee snob... don' get me started!), close your eyes... that's IT!. I now spend 10 minutes every morning in New York.

I believe that God has prepared me by means of process to be where I am now. If you had taken me from NY and planted me in Paraguay, I probably would not have been able to handle all of the cultural differences that we as missionaries experience. However, God used Columbia to mold me into a more tranquil person (those that know me now... seriously it is true, I'm tranquil). In the end of my SC experience I was probably the one talking the most in the food store aisle. My cross-cultural marriage has helped me tremendously... I tend to have a greater appreciation of the nationals' culture than I do my own because of the influence of being married to a Trini. I would actually trade my buttered roll for a doubles any day of the week (check out the doubles that Karen made this past week). While in Gainesville I grew tremendously as I was given the opportunity to minister in a slightly different culture by a very patient and nurturing community. In Costa Rica I was given my first real cross-cultural experience in language school. This was the most enjoyable year of our lives, we loved language school and we loved experiencing the new culture.

From New York directly to Paraguay would not have been possible. But from New York to Paraguay via God's perfect plan has made life an incredible adventure even though I don't have bagels.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.

Thank you for your support. We are TEAM!

Shout Out

One of the things that Karen and I do to unwind at the end of a day is watch a TV program. Many times around 9, 10, or 11 at night we will sit down and vedge.

We don't have cable television as I have found out that I can download whatever television program that I want from the Internet. That's a cool thing, as all the commercials are edited out. So a show that is usually 60 minutes long is cut down to 42 minutes.

Some of the shows that we enjoy are 24 (although this season we did not see it because of the writer's strike), Dancing with the Stars (that's all Karen), Terminator: The Sara Connor Chronicles, Battlestar Galactica, and American Idol (AI).

I am a little embarrassed to admit that AI is actually a show that I enjoy. I mean, come-on, how unsophisticated can I get (smile). But this last week something happened on AI that I thought is worth mentioning. Take a look at the video below.

I know that Ben Stiller ruined the above ambiance with his gutter-mouth at the end of the show. However, I think it is important to mention the positive things that take place in the world along with speaking out against what is wrong. So from my perspective... "Way to go American Idol."

Thanks for your support. We are TEAM!

Cultural Lesson # ∞ + 6

Non-confrontational

The views expressed herein are my own and do not necessarily represent the views of the missionary community or of any other member of my household, a.k.a. Karen.

I would guess this is probably an aspect of the culture that is more-or-less universal to Latin America. People tend to avoid confrontation. Foreigners that have tendencies to be opinionated*, direct*, aggressive*, or confrontational should be aware of this cultural distinction. If not, one could impose a desire, goal and/or agenda that otherwise might be unwelcomed and possibly culturally insensitive. When pressured I believe a Paraguayan will generally back down and allow an individual to go forward with their agenda in order to avoid a confrontation. However, they will not necessarily support the "aggressor". What may appear to the individual as acquiescence may really be passive resistance.

The discernment we as missionaries need to employ is knowing when to hold our ground and confront because of a Biblical truth and when to defer to what the culture dictates as being correct. At times this deferment may even go against what you believe to be best and/or correct.

For example, which situations would you confront and to which would you submit? (Several of these situations are present in your own cultural context):

1. Lack of punctuality for scheduled events.
2. The custom of greeting everyone in a group one-by-one even if the new-comer has arrived late and will cause a disruption to the group.
   
   
   
3. Saying or doing whatever is necessary in order not to offend someone or experience problems, even if that means lying (click once on Hillary for a larger view).
   
   
   
4. Stepping away from an important task in order talk with someone.
5. Littering.
6. Blatantly disobeying traffic laws (even with the police present).
7. Wearing inappropriate clothing (my wife says this is universal).
8. Gossiping and murmuring (from my limited experience this is a universal occurrence).
9. Bribery to get results.
   
10. Paying workers less then the minimum wage because of the law of supply-and-demand and the presence of unemployment.
    

I would like to hear what you would do (imagine that your only options are CONFRONT or NO CONFRONT responses to these situations).

There is an added bonus video below for those of you who speak Spanish and struggle with finding your way in a culture that is not your own. It's important that you know that I'm not arrogantly promoting my culture as being better than the culture of anyone else. In my opinion we are all messed up to some degree or another.

If we could all just come together. "You may say that I'm a dreamer, But I'm not the only one, I hope someday you'll join us, And the world will be as one." It's not a matter of what the Beatles were smoking when they wrote that, it's a question of how much.

Above all, pray that as missionaries and students of culture we would act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with our God (Micah 6:8).

* The words opinionated, direct, and aggressive were utilized without hesitation as the author of the blog feels they are auto-descriptive.

Thank you for your support. We are TEAM!

Go Yankees!

It's been nice to sit and work on my sermon for Sunday (mostly translation work) with my New York Yankees playing in the background. Although I know they won 3 to 2, I enjoy listening to the archived recording from the Internet. I can listen live, however last evening I was out with Jorge planning our cell meeting for this upcoming week during the game.

I've been a little sad over the past couple of days as I just realized that I won't be able to take my son to see a baseball game in the house that Babe built. The Yankees will have their new stadium next year. And as I'm sure it will be a beautiful park, it won't be full of all the history that I've experienced and dreamt about growing up.

As missionaries we sometimes miss out on special things. Here is a list of the things I (will) have missed this first term as a missionary:

1. My sister's wedding
2. The Christmas season
3. Sharing my baby daughter's birth with friends and family
4. Thanksgiving dinner with family
5. Bagels
6. Autumn
7. World Series
8. Playing golf
   
9. Home church
   
10. Sharing a day at Yankee Stadium with Jeffrey

But with all the things that we miss out on as missionaries, the return far outweighs our "loss." Here's a short list of our gain:

1. No Hillary Clinton political commercials
2. Living in the center of God's will

Thanks for your support! We are TEAM!

Wednesday Prayer

• Last week some of you learned that Carlos (husband to Rosanna) was picked up and held by the police. Please keep this situation in your prayers as tomorrow he may be transferred to the prison system. Pray for the peace of his family, Rosanna and Carlos have 4 daughters (the youngest is only 3 months old). A praise in the midst of the difficulties is that Carlos did accept the Lord as his Savior. Pray that this would prove to be a genuine profession.

• Pray for me over the next couple of weeks as I will be preaching (April 6th and 13th). Pastor (president) Daniel will be away in Chile enjoying the conference of Alliance World Fellowship. I'll be preaching from 1st John.

• Pray for Jorge Ramirez and myself as we begin a new cell group for youth. We've hand-picked those who we believe have a vision for cell ministry and are hoping to use this cell as a model for future cells.

• Pray for Karen, Clarita and myself as we continue to lead a newer cell on Thursday evenings. We have been encouraged with this group as they are all newer people to the church. One family has been reached through this cell and is now regularly attending the church.

• Pray for Karen as she is now doing one-on-one discipleship (with Lilly), teaching Alliance doctrine (to three of our seminary young ladies), and teaching Sunday school (ages 9-12).

Thank you for your support. We are TEAM!